people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
