Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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