singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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