Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
