**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
