I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize