i think my tv is drunk
Too much gin, very little bucket
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
