So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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