Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
