If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
