Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize