I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize