Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
