Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
