If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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