she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
