I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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