She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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