Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
