peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
