Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
