My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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