she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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