She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
