pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
