11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
