toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
