i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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