Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
