Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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