i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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