i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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