plz talk dirty to me
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
