That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
