She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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