just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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