i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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