Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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