halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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