You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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