what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
your like the ambassador to my penis.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
