living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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