I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
last night I used snow as a chaser
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
