he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
