im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
