haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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