i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
