there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
