I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
and i looked up. we had an audience...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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