You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just cropdusted the office
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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