On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
