Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
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Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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