dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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