Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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