I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize