Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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