A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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