worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
