This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I have aggressive nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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