the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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