hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He had one of those small greek statue penises
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
