Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
