So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
