oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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